Saturday, July 18, 2009

Bad Under Pressure

Ryan and Annie decided to take a weekend and go up north to do some fishing. It was mostly Ryan wanting to camp, but Annie was a good sport. They brought Sawyer, of course, who spent most of his time swimming in the lake. After the sun set and the campfire died out, the three headed into their tent for the night.

"You pass gas once and you're out of here, Sawyer." said Ryan.

Sawyer just growled and plopped down in a corner of the tent. After a long day of chasing ducks and swimming laps in the cool Michigan water, he was out like a lamp. Ryan and Annie talked for a short time before they too succumbed to the sounds of the night and drifted into a deep sleep.

Their sleep was short lived, however. Sawyer woke first, letting out a low growl. This woke Ryan and Annie who sprung up just as someone threw a canister of gas into their tent! They all started coughing and choking as Ryan struggled to find the tent door and escape. The gas was to powerful, though, and Ryan passed out.

Ryan did not wake until the morning. When he did wake up, he found his camp destroyed. Sawyer was just waking up, but neither could not find Annie.

"Here." said Sawyer.

He had a note tied to his collar. Ryan took it and began to read.

'We have your loved one. If you would like to see her again, I suggest you do as I say. Bring us 50 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke and 300 packs of Mentos. If you are seen approaching our camp with anyone but you and your pathetic dog, your loved one will be shot. We look forward to seeing you. P.S. Do NOT buy cheap Diet Coke off brands! Sam's Choice, is not our choice!'

Ryan crumpled up the note and threw it down.

"Terrorists. I don't know who or why. I just know they want Diet Coke and Mentos." said Ryan.

"That's insane!" said Sawyer. "By my calculations, that's enough Diet Coke and Mentos to blow up a house. Why go through all that trouble when a stick of dynamite would do the same thing?"

"Like I said, Sawyer. I don't know." said Ryan "They drew a map on the back of the note. We just need to get the goods, make the exchange and go home."

The two drove to the nearest store, got a cart and began to fill it. The cashier at the register wasn't amused.

"Trying to get famous on Youtube?" the cashier asked.

"No ma'am, just really like diet pop." explained Ryan.

"And the Mentos?" asked the cashier

"After dinner mints." said Ryan.

* * * * *

They arrived at the location on the map and Ryan got out of the truck. The terrorists arrived in a truck of their own, but theirs was equipped with a .50 caliber machine gun. Ryan decided to cooperate to the fullest.

"Do you have the items we requested?" asked the terrorist leader

"The store only had 36 Diet Coke bottles so we had to get 14 Diet Pepsi bottles." said Ryan

"Blasted idiots!" exclaimed the terrorist leader "I suppose those will be sufficient. And the Mentos?"

"We have the Mentos." said Ryan.

"Good." said the terrorist leader

He motioned for his men to load the items into their truck.

"And Annie. Where is Annie? I came through with my half of the bargain, where is she?" demanded Ryan

"Silly American. What made you think that I am trustworthy?" the leader mocked "Shoot them." he commanded the terrorist on the machine gun

Ryan and Sawyer wasted no time in turning to run. The machine gun opened up behind them as they sprinted, but they did not look back. Suddenly, Ryan's truck exploded from being shot! The two dove into a ditch and waited. They could hear them laughing, then getting into their truck and leaving.

"You OK, Ryan?" Sawyer asked as he shook the dirt off of his back

"Yeah, I'm fine. They blew up my truck. I'm still paying for that." said Ryan.

"Let's go. We need to follow their tire tracks to their base. They think we're dead. We'll have the element of surprise." said Sawyer

"I just wish we had a few weapons." said Ryan

* * * * *

They followed the tracks for an hour, when they heard the sound of a helicopter taking off. The base camp was on the other side of the hill to their left. They climbed to the top and looked down. There were only about 20 of them, but they were all armed with various weapons.

"OK, here's the plan." said Ryan "We'll wait until it's dark, then sneak down the side of the hill. Try to get to the .50 cal. Once you're on it, start lighting up the tents and anyone else who you can see."

"Got it." said Sawyer

"Annie is probably in that big building along the river so I'll make a break for it while you're shooting." said Ryan "When you're out of ammo on the .50 cal, try to get to me. I might need your help."

When the sun set behind the trees, Ryan and Sawyer started their mission. After bumping fist to paw, they made their way down the hill and into the terrorist base. Sawyer made his way to the truck with the machine gun on it when suddenly he was spotted!

"Infidel dog!" cried the terrorist

Sawyer sprinted towards the truck as Ryan make a break for the large building he believed Annie was being held in. Sawyer made it to the machine gun, jumped on top, racked the first shell into the chamber and started firing it at the terrorists. Stunned, the terrorists watched in disbelief as the black lab howled in anger while pouring lead and tracers on their camp. Terrified, they dropped their weapons and ran out of the camp. Ryan reached the building and slowly opened the door to go inside where he found Annie tied to a chair.

"They're going to contaminate the river with anthrax!" cried Annie "The river empty's into Lake Michigan! They're using the Diet Coke and Mentos as fuel to run the mill! You have to stop it!"

Just then, Sawyer ran into the room.

"Sawyer, untie Annie!" yelled Ryan

Sawyer began chewing on the ropes to free his owner as Ryan examined the mill. It was building up pressure even as they spoke. Soon, the chemical reaction from the Diet Coke and Mentos would produce enough pressure to force the mill to turn, unleashing a steady stream of anthrax into the river. There was no way to release the pressure and Ryan couldn't handle the anthrax without special gear, so he had to find a way to jam the mill. Sawyer freed Annie and the two escaped outside to call for help. Then Ryan remembered the machine gun outside. He ran out, grabbed the gun, then brought it back inside and started climbing the beams inside the mill to the giant wheel. It was getting closer and closer to turning and unleashing a ton of anthrax into a million peoples drinking water. He wedged the gun into the mill, then slid back down the beam he had climbed.

Ryan, Annie and Sawyer all got to the top of the hill and watched as the pressure from the Diet Coke and Mentos caused the huge wheel of the mill to turn. However, the machine gun that was wedged into the supports brought the mill down on itself. A ton of anthrax, Diet Coke and Mentos bubbled over into the camp. Although the camp would be a dangerous place for years to come, the three had saved the lives of millions.

* * * * *

The DNR arrived at the scene first. After answering some questions, the three were offered a ride home. Since their truck had been destroyed, they accepted.

"If we see a Starbucks, can we stop?" asked Annie

The driver ignored her.

"Annie, did you see the terrorist leader at the camp?" asked Ryan

"Yeah, he was there, but he left in a helicopter. Didn't say where he was going." she replied

"I wonder if he'll come back?" she wondered out loud

"I don't know." said Ryan "I guess that's a story for another day."

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